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Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Roger Fisher, William Ury, Bruce Patton · 2011
In a sentence
A practical method for negotiating agreements that satisfy both parties by focusing on interests and objective merits rather than haggling over positions.
Getting to YES distills decades of research from the Harvard Negotiation Project into a clear, all-purpose method called principled negotiation. Rather than forcing you to choose between being a soft negotiator who gets exploited or a hard bargainer who damages relationships, the book shows a third way: be hard on the merits and soft on the people. Through four core practices—separating the people from the problem, focusing on interests not positions, inventing options for mutual gain, and insisting on objective criteria—plus tools for handling more powerful opponents (BATNA), unwilling parties (negotiation jujitsu), and dirty tricks, the book teaches anyone to reach wise agreements efficiently and amicably. Illustrated with vivid real-world examples from divorces to the Camp David accords, it is the most useful negotiation primer ever written.
The four lenses
- Science
- Statistics
- Systems
- Strategy
The model
A causal framework in which negotiation design levers (separating people from problem, focusing on interests, inventing options, using objective criteria) and conditions (BATNA strength) drive psychological and behavioral states (working relationship, mutual understanding, joint problem-solving) that produce outcomes (wise agreement, efficiency, preserved relationship).
Separating People from the Problemdesign lever
The practice of disentangling substantive issues from relationship and psychological issues by dealing with perception, emotion, and communication directly rather than through substantive concessions.
Focusing on Interests, Not Positionsdesign lever
The practice of identifying and addressing the underlying needs, desires, concerns, and fears that motivate parties rather than debating stated positions, recognizing that behind opposed positions lie shared and compatible interests.
Inventing Options for Mutual Gaindesign lever
The practice of generating a wide range of possible solutions through brainstorming that advance shared interests and creatively reconcile differing interests, separating the act of inventing from the act of deciding.
Insisting on Objective Criteriadesign lever
The practice of committing to reach a solution based on fair standards independent of either side's will—such as market value, precedent, expert opinion, or fair procedures—rather than through a contest of wills.
BATNA Strengthcontextual condition
The attractiveness of a negotiator's Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement, which serves as the standard against which any proposed agreement is measured and is the primary determinant of relative negotiating power.
Working Relationship Qualitypsychological state
The degree of trust, understanding, respect, clear communication, and mutual acceptance between negotiators, built independent of agreement or disagreement, that enables parties to cope with differences constructively.
Joint Problem-Solving Orientationbehavioral pattern
The behavioral state in which negotiators see themselves as partners in a side-by-side search for a fair agreement, attacking the problem rather than each other and generating mutually advantageous options.
Wise Agreementoutcome metric
An outcome that meets the legitimate interests of each side to the extent possible, resolves conflicting interests fairly, is durable, and takes community interests into account—the primary desired result of negotiation.
Negotiation Efficiencyoutcome metric
The degree to which a negotiation reaches agreement without excessive transactional costs, time, decision-making burden, and posturing associated with digging into and out of positions.
Relationship Preservationoutcome metric
The extent to which the negotiation improves or at least does not damage the ongoing relationship between parties, an outcome distinct from and often more important than the substance of any particular agreement.
How they connect
- separate people from problem → predicts working relationship
- working relationship → mediates wise agreement
- focus on interests → predicts joint problem solving
- invent options → predicts joint problem solving
- joint problem solving → mediates wise agreement
- objective criteria → predicts wise agreement
- objective criteria → predicts relationship preservation
- objective criteria → predicts negotiation efficiency
- batna strength → moderates wise agreement
- separate people from problem → predicts relationship preservation
- focus on interests → predicts wise agreement
The story
The reader Anyone who must negotiate—a spouse, employee, boss, lawyer, diplomat, or consumer—who wants to reach fair agreements without being exploited or damaging relationships.
External problem
Standard positional bargaining produces unwise agreements, is inefficient, and endangers relationships.
Internal problem
Negotiators feel trapped between being exploited if they're nice and being combative if they're firm—leaving them worn out, alienated, and dissatisfied.
Philosophical problem
It is just plain wrong that you should have to choose between getting what you deserve and being a decent person.
The plan
- Separate the people from the problem.
- Focus on interests, not positions.
- Invent options for mutual gain before deciding.
- Insist on using objective criteria.
- Develop your BATNA to know your alternative and increase your power.
- Use negotiation jujitsu or a one-text procedure when the other side won't play, and recognize and neutralize dirty tricks.
Success
- You reach wise agreements efficiently and amicably.
- You protect your interests without damaging relationships.
- You can be fair while guarding against those who take advantage of fairness.
- You build a reputation for principled, trustworthy dealing.
At stake
- You lock into positions, waste time and energy, and reach unwise or no agreements.
- You get exploited by hard bargainers or exhaust yourself in contests of will.
- Relationships are strained or shattered by bitter positional battles.
- You accept agreements you should reject or reject ones you should accept.
Questions this book answers
- What is the best way for people to deal with their differences?
- How can you reach a wise agreement efficiently without damaging the relationship?
- How do you negotiate with someone more powerful, unwilling, or using dirty tricks?
- How do you get what you deserve while still being decent and fair?
Glossary
- Separating People from the Problem
- Disentangling substantive negotiation issues from relationship and psychological issues, treating each on its own merits.
- Focusing on Interests, Not Positions
- Identifying and addressing the underlying needs, desires, concerns, and fears that motivate parties instead of debating stated positions.
- Inventing Options for Mutual Gain
- Generating a wide range of possible solutions that advance shared interests and reconcile differing interests before committing to any one.
- Insisting on Objective Criteria
- Committing to reach solutions based on fair standards independent of either side's will.
- BATNA Strength
- The attractiveness of a negotiator's best alternative to a negotiated agreement, used as the measure for any proposed agreement.
- Working Relationship Quality
- The degree of trust, understanding, respect, and clear communication between negotiators, built independent of agreement.
- Joint Problem-Solving Orientation
- The behavioral state of seeing negotiation as a side-by-side search for a fair agreement, attacking the problem not each other.
- Wise Agreement
- An outcome meeting legitimate interests of each side, resolving conflicts fairly, durable, and mindful of community interests.
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